


Black Sheep

by the_witching_hours



Series: Black Sheep [1]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-10 19:12:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11698098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_witching_hours/pseuds/the_witching_hours
Summary: You’re Charlie’s little sister, but you’re the black sheep of the family. SO when Valentine ropes in your family, you aren’t exactly on board.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I had to look up Charlie’s last name, according to the comic book the movie was based on, Charlie’s last name is Hesketh, so that’s what we’re using

Your brother was a filthy wanker, you’d known that most of your life, what you hadn’t known was the extent of his douchebaggery. You sure as fuck knew now.

Pacing the confines of your cell did little to quell your anger; if anything, it angered you more. Charlie and your father were, no doubt, somewhere nearby sipping champagne and toasting the impending deaths of millions of people while you paced, unable to do anything about it. 

Chester King, an old family friend, had approached you brother about joining the Kingsman just months ago, but that’d gone tits up when the Kingsman had realized just how much of a pansy ass Charlie was. You assumed the organization was unaware that your father and Charlie discussed it so freely that you were privy to a good few of it’s secrets, not just it’s existence. Like the fact that it’s leader was in on Valentine’s murder spree. Fuck, you needed to get out of here.

Just then, your cell door was keyed open, and who should show his face but the bloody disgrace himself.

“Last chance, Y/N. You can still come out and celebrate with us.”

“Charlie, fuck off,” you replied, turning away from him; nothing angered Charlie more than being dismissed, or ignored, something he’d inherited from your father. Something you planned to capitalize on. 

He rounded on you, putting your body between himself and the door, perfect.

“You know what, Y/N? You’re such an ungrateful little bitch. Father wanted to leave you out entirely, but I persuaded him to include you, and what do you do? You throw it in my fucking face. Typical.”

“What’s typical? You making poor decisions and shitty life choices? Or my having morals and a bloody backbone?” You stepped into his personal space as you threw insults at him; knowing if you pushed him hard enough, he’d take a swing at you. You needed him to take a swing at you. 

And he did, a slightly wild swing, he’d been drinking after all, you ducked it easily and swung hard, driving your fist into his solar plexus; forcing him down to his knees.

While he was temporarily incapacitated, you searched his pockets. Finding his phone, you took it and ran out the door. You didn’t know where to go, so you followed the sounds of a party; where the party was, you’d likely find Valentine, and by extension, whatever doomsday machine was running his “culling”. 

Now, you were no super spy, your skills lay in tech and marksmanship, so until Charlie had so thoughtfully dropped his phone into your lap, you’d been useless. But now? With a wicked grin stretching across your lips, you walked into the party room and pressed yourself to the wall.

“Restricted internet access,  _ adorable _ ,” you chuckled softly, working away at the server, but before you could crack it, someone else opened the door. 

“Odd,” you muttered. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, you continued. Your goal was to disable communication between Valentine’s server and the SIM cards themselves, but as you searched for that, curiosity got the better of you and you peeked in on what the other hacker was up to.

“You ain’t gonna hack it that way mate,” you scowled. The other hacker was attempting to take over the server entirely and had run into a biometric scanner. As you puzzled over  _ that _ conundrum, you heard a familiar voice.

“Valentine! I caught a fucking spy!” Charlie shouted over the crowd. Looking up, you spotted him holding a table knife to the throat of a suited man in glasses.

_ “My fellow hacker I presume,” _ the man punched Charlie in the face and lept over the banister separating the upper level from the open dance floor below. He landed and took off running. You knew you couldn’t follow him directly, so you took advantage of your access to the server to track him through security cameras.

Following the security feed, and the trail of bodies, you came to the open runway, with a plane sitting on it, ready to take off. You were about to approach it when the door popped open and two men stuck their heads out; one holding a shotgun and the other… an  _ umbrella _ ? You put your hands up and stopped moving.

“Who are you then?” the younger man asked. He was the one you had followed, the one who’d clocked your brother; you needed to thank him for that.

“Hesketh, Y/N.”

“Charlie’s sister?” the older man asked, brow furrowed as both men tensed.

You scowled in response, “unfortunately. Appreciate it if that weren’t held against me; I can’t exactly pick my genetics.”

The two men held their positions, you sighed, turning your hand so the phone screen was facing them; showing a countdown.

“Look, I know you hit the biometrics, I think I can help.” They lowered their weapons fractionally as a lone guard rounded the corner behind you; a guard who apparently recognized you.

“How the fuck did you get out?!” he yelled in confusion. You smiled and kicked the gun right out of his slackened grip before punching him in the temple.

“Guess I’m more than a pretty face eh?”

“What’d he mean?” the younger man asked. He’d left the plane now, umbrella still pointed in the direction of the hallway as he approached you.

“Oh, I was locked in a cell. Valentine couldn’t let me wander off after he told my family his plan, so he locked me up. Charlie came in to gloat and I punched him, stole his phone, and legged it.”

The young man smiled, looked over his shoulder at the other man briefly before looking back to you and sticking his hand out to shake yours.

“Eggsy. I’m glad you’re nothing like your dickhead of a brother.”

…

After getting the cliffnotes version of a plan, and being given a gun, you ran after Eggsy, back towards the main room. Unfortunately, you were vastly outnumbered. Soon the both of you had your backs to the wall. Eggsy had just finished giving someone named Roxy instructions to call his mother to try and warn her, then his expression changed from one of despondency, to one of determination.

“Merlin,” he said, addressing the man who had stayed back on the plane, “remember those implants you said were of no use to us? You think you can turn ‘em on?” Moments later, you and Eggsy were the only ones alive in the hall. 

“Merlin you’re a fucking genius!” Eggsy crowed.

“Fuck I’m glad I didn’t have one of those in my head,” you said on a shaky exhale, Eggsy looked at you, confused.

“I woke up in that cell after I told Valentine, in no uncertain terms, that I wouldn’t be a part of his scheme. For all I knew, they could have given me one.” You looked at the headless bodies, covered in their own brain matter strewn about the hall. No, you didn’t feel bad for any of these people, they knew what they were getting into, but the fact that it could have been you… 

Strong arms wrapped around you as Eggsy pulled you to his chest. For a moment you couldn’t even feel the warmth radiating off of him.

“You’re alright, love,” he muttered into your hair, his hands running up and down your back as Valentine’s voice came over the loudspeaker.

“You motherfucker! You really think I was stupid enough to implant one of those things in my own head? What are you fucking  _ crazy _ ? All those innocent people killed and for what?! You didn’t stop shit!”

“Not yet we haven’t,” you growled into Eggsy’s chest.

“Good girl, Y/N,” Eggsy smiled, squeezing you one more time before letting you go.

You bent to pick up a new gun, checked the mag, and slammed it back in before looking back at Eggsy.

“You’re gonna have to tell me where you learned to do all this, love,” he smiled again.

“We stop this fucker, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

“Careful, sweetheart,” he warned as you both ran down the all again, “I may hold ya to that.”


	2. Chapter 2

The two of you stopped just before the party room, taking up on opposite sides of the archway. Music was blaring, and lights were flashing; Valentine had pulled out all the stops.

“What’s the plan?” you ask, checking the magazine of the rifle you’d picked up. It was nearly full, good thing because you hadn’t thought to pick up a spare. 

“Sorta making this up as I go, love,” Eggsy smirked at you.

“Okay,” you sighed, thinking for a minute, “I’m gonna go up to the second level then. I’ll try to get a clean shot at the control room.” Your aim was much better than your fighting abilities. Though you could throw a proper punch, you’d had more practice on the receiving end.

If your brother was a filthy wanker, your mother was a simpering fool, and your father was an utter bastard. Though you’d grown up with a “proper” childhood and been taught all the things a “lady” ought to know, your most valuable lessons had been at the hands of your father. While your mother had left you with nannies and tutors to learn all you could about the ridiculous things that “ladies” should know, your father had taught you a bit more. Like how to hide bruises, and learn to walk off a birdshot in your leg.

The “lessons” were mostly just punishments for imagined slights against your father or family in general, and you’d taken them. You had no recourse after all. You were just a “lady”; taught useless, outdated, frivolous things. You hadn’t any way to protect yourself, let alone fight back. Until the fox hunt. 

You’d been taught equestrian etiquette, and when the annual fox hunt arrived around your 16th year, your mother had  _ insisted _ that you take part. You found the whole idea antiquated and distasteful, but it afforded you an opportunity; you’d get a gun. One which you’d have access to for practice leading up to the hunt as well. You left the hunt with your dignity intact, thankful for the horsemanship lessons, and with the knowledge you’d needed.  You knew where the armory was located. 

Spare time after the hunt was spent trap shooting, perfecting your aim and timing. Then you moved on to testing and practicing with different guns, then on to the other weapons available. The crossbow was a personal favorite of yours, but guns would always be your best. Guns were the one thing you knew you could count on.

Eggsy looked at you for a moment before nodding; your plan was probably for the best. After all, he didn’t know what you were capable of, it would be best for him if you stayed out of his way. And yet, he was still apprehensive. Eggsy opened fire on the glass partition separating Valentine’s console from the rest of the room and the music cut off.

You turned for the stairs just as a woman suddenly burst out of the glass partition that protected Valentine’s mainframe. She was firing as she jumped, aiming at Eggsy, but she caught sight of you as she fell. Changing her aim quickly, she got one shot off in your direction. Not a great shot, but good enough. You hit the floor, a now bleeding wound through the right thigh of your expensive, designer jeans.

“Motherfucker!” you spat, pushing yourself up on your elbows. The rifle you’d pilfered had fallen out of your hands when you collapsed, landing just out of your reach.

You could hear Eggsy and the woman fighting now, but your focus shifted up to the control room. You saw Valentine step in front of the console again, and the music burst back on. That sick fucker had set it up to play as the people of the world killed themselves. He’d reduced the population's lives to a party favor.

Your eyes watered as you stretched your arm to reach the gun you’d dropped, your fingers brushing the cool metal. Grunting as you pulled it towards you, you did your best to push the pain you felt into the back of your mind. You had experience with that for sure. Then the woman was in front of you, she swiped at you with her leg. Wait, that wasn’t a leg. She had metal prostheses that more resembled blades than legs, and if the cut across your forearm was any measure, those blades were sharp. You cried out, and swung back at her with the rifle, but she jumped back and your swing didn’t connect. Eggsy re-engaged her, and they moved away from you, allowing you to lever yourself up and move to the stairs once again.

No one could say that your father hadn’t educated you, but they’d likely find fault with some of his methods. When you did something wrong; you’d been punished. For example, if you did less than stellar on exams, you would have been subjected to solitary confinement and limited food and water. If you acted in a less than “ladylike” manner in public, or otherwise “disgraced” your family name, you’d have been subjected to beatings, by either your father himself, or sometimes by Charlie. Charlie’s punishments were usually worse for you.

Where your father was calculated, your brother was rash. When Charlie took over your beatings, it became less about the placement of the punches, as it had been with your father, and more about the number of punches thrown. Charlie was more violent than your father. Although he never slipped; he knew not to leave any marks anywhere visible to the nosy public. Charlie had been the one responsible for the birdshot incident. 

You couldn’t remember exactly what it was that set him off that time, but he’d gone straight to your father and complained. And in true Hesketh tradition, your father had decided you needed to be “punished”. Apparently, he had told your brother that he could have his choice of weapon, Charlie had picked the shotgun. You still had scarring on your upper left thigh and left hip, but you had learned to work through pain. You were oddly thankful for that now.

Reaching the top of the stairs had sweat pouring off of you, and you more or less collapsed onto the floor of the balcony. Rolling to lay flat on your stomach, you propped yourself up on your elbows and aimed the rifle. You saw Eggsy below, standing across from the woman now, you weren’t sure what happened, but the woman fell to the floor. You looked back up at Valentine. It wasn’t a long shot, not even a difficult one, but you slowed your breathing nonetheless. Once your breathing was even enough, you squeezed the trigger in time with your breath. Your shot hit the target, Valentine’s hand slipped from the console and his body fell backwards through the glass to the floor. The music now silenced permanently. You heard Eggsy speak to him though you couldn’t make out the words, and Valentine replied. To you, it sounded like he said,  _ “perfect” _ but you couldn’t be sure. You let out a long sigh, resting your forehead on the floor for just a moment before drawing a deep breath and reaching up to grab the banister. Using it to hoist yourself back up onto your feet. 

“Good shot, Y/N! Well done.” When you didn’t respond right away, Eggsy’s voice changed from happy to concerned, “Y/N? Are you alright?”

You had never shot anyone before. Sure, you had wished that you could. Even dreamed about it a few times, but that had always been your father or Charlie. And you’d never done it. Now you had. You had killed someone. Not only that, but your family was dead as well; all of them. Were you responsible for their deaths as well? You did help the people who killed them… You felt ill. You leaned against the railing for a second, closing your eyes; fighting the urge to pass out.

“Nothing I can’t handle, be down in a bit,” you gritted out, not wanting to worry him as you started for the stairs. You would have time to process later. No need to lump all of your emotions onto Eggsy on top of all that he’d had to handle today. Plus, you barely knew the bloke. He was handsome, and clearly skilled at his job, and  _ yes _ you were not unaffected by how he looked in that suit, but you still barely knew him. He only knew you as  _ Charlie’s  _  sister; you couldn’t have had a poorer introduction than that, no need to make it worse by breaking down.You tried to keep your limp as unnoticeable as you could as you made your way forward. You didn’t even make it to the top of the stairs before Eggsy caught up to you. 

“ _ Shit _ you’re bleeding! Why didn’t you say something?!” Eggsy practically shouted, startling you.

“Seriously, it’s alright.”

“No it ain’t, Y/N! What are you doing?!” he said in disbelief. He was completely shocked that you just kept walking, almost passing him as he was trying to tell you off. He couldn’t believe that you were walking around with a bleeding hole in your leg.

“I’ve had worse,” you shrugged, wincing as you stepped wrong.

“Bollocks,” Eggsy grumbled as he stepped up to you, bent, and picked you up bridal style, careful not to bump your leg.

“Eggsy!” you squeaked.  _ Squeaked _ . You’d never  _ squeaked _ in your life. “Put me down! I can-”

“Not gonna happen.” You huffed and tried to wriggle out of his hold, but he tightened his arms. Then he muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like  _ “fucking walking around after bein’ shot… who the fuck does that?!” _

“But-” you tried to defend yourself, but Eggsy cut you off again.

“No. Look, you’re hurt, I’m not, so let me help you, yeah?” he looked at you as he started to walk; his face sincere, if a little tired looking.

“Why?” you asked quietly. You’d never had people offer to help without some reason of their own.

“Well a few reasons. One: my mum would have my head if she knew I’d let you walk around like that. Two: you were hurt helping  _ me _ . And three…” he trailed off, a smirk forming on his face, “maybe I’m starting to like ya a bit.”

“Ugh, you’re insufferable,” you groaned, throwing your head back to hide the blush creeping across your cheeks. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kingsman: The Golden Circle Spoilers Below!!!!
> 
> So I am deviating from the movie plot a bit. Since I didn’t have Tilde’s character before, I don’t have her here (plus I kinda hate the way they treated her character in Golden Circle, so it’s a bonus for me)
> 
> The song lyrics in this part are NOT mine. They are from “Horns” by Bryce Fox… I LOVE that song!

You’d been to Glastonbury several times in recent years, but never like this year. In the past, you’d only gotten to go because Charlie had wanted to go, and he’d only gone because his girlfriend wanted to go. Truth be told, Clara had only gone for the drugs, but that never bothered Charlie, and you’d avoided them as much as you could; you went for the music. You’d loved every minute of music you got in the past, but this year was different. Not only were you free of your family, but this year you were not watching from the ground, you were  _ on stage _ . This year you were performing.

After your family had died, you’d been free to do whatever you wanted really, and what you’d wanted more than anything was to sing. So sing you did. You’d started singing at small venues, cafes, bars, anywhere that you could, and you were good, even better when you’d found bandmates; it wasn’t all that long before you had a following. That following was enough to push you into the spotlight, and that spotlight had brought you to a successful album, and eventually to Glastonbury. 

You hadn’t needed the money, singing had just been for you. The death of your father, had given you, his sole surviving heir, access to all of the family money; and it was not an insubstantial amount. On top of that, you’d sold most of your families things; the ridiculous cars, frivolous clothes, and more than a few weapons that you had been happy never to see again. 

With that money, and the money you were making off album sales, you invested, you donated a large amount to charities that aimed towards helping the people affected by the Valentine incident, and you’d sold the family manor, choosing to buy yourself a townhouse in Soho instead. You could just  _ feel _ all of your ancestors rolling around in their graves at the thought of losing the “family home”, and you reveled in that feeling. Now, to top it all off, you were about to fulfill a childhood dream; one your entire family had shuddered at. A huge grin spread across your face.

You were nervous for sure, but the near bliss you felt knowing that you were actually about to do this, you were about to  _ sing _ , at bloody  _ Glastonbury _ no less, and, well that eclipsed any nerves you had. 

There were near 200,000 people attending this year, and you could hear the buzz from your place at the side of the stage. That buzz seemed to fill you from your toes to your forehead, giving you a rush that you were sure rivaled any attained by any of the drugs that were floating around the festival in abundance tonight; you wouldn’t touch the stuff, you didn’t want to be like Clara, and you didn’t need it. Thank goodness singing didn’t have the same nasty side effects or withdrawals. 

\---

-Eggsy POV-

Eggsy’d never been one for Glastonbury, mostly cause it cost near 300 quid to get in, but partly because of the ridiculous people that attended. 

Clara was pretty, sure, but there wasn’t anything but air in her head. It hadn’t taken Eggy but four minutes to get an invite to her tent. Though Agent Whiskey had struck right out. It had given Eggsy a laugh when Whiskey hadn’t understood Clara’s use of a Tinder reference to brush him off though. If it hadn’t been for the mission, Eggsy wouldn’t have gone to her tent. If it hadn’t been for Kingsman being blown up, if it hadn’t been for bloody Charlie Hesketh, Eggsy wouldn’t even be in Mendip. But since the wanker was still alive, and since he’d gone and destroyed almost everything Eggsy held dear, there he was. 

When Charlie had shown back up, Eggsy’s first thought had been of Y/N. The moment he’d gotten back to the shop, he’d all but begged Merlin to look her up; he had to be sure she was alright. 

After Valentine, Eggsy and Y/N had stayed in touch, but it hadn’t been for long. Kingsman took up a large portion of Eggsy’s time and attention, and Y/N had her own life to straighten out; Eggsy regretted letting her slip away now. She was making a life for herself it seemed, he was proud of her, but worried; it didn’t seem that Charlie had attempted to find her, but Eggsy was sure he would try. He had been planning to visit Y/N, but the bombings had changed that. 

Roxy was dead. Brandon was dead. JB was dead. All the Kingsman but himself and Merlin were dead, and Eggsy had to avenge them. So, after a fashion, there he was, finally escaping from Clara’s tent, and settling his Kingsman glasses back on his nose. He had implanted the tracker, and now he needed to meet back up with Merlin and Whiskey, but a sound distracted him; a song, one that he thought he recognized. As he looked to the stage, he found the source of the sound and felt his eyes almost bug out of his head. It was Y/N singing.

“She’s got blood, 

Cold as ice,

And a heart made of stone.

But she keeps me alive,

She’s the beast in my bones.

She gets everything she wants,

When she gets me alone,

Like it’s nothing,

She got two little horns and it’s gettin me a little bit.”

The music blasted, but Eggsy made his way to the stage, shuffling past festival goers in varying stages of inebriation, hearing people yelling and screaming. People screaming your name. Eggsy managed to sneak to the side of the stage.

“What the hell are you doing?” Merlin’s voice sounded from his glasses.

“That was  _ Y/N _ ,” Eggsy responded.

“Charlie’s sister? The one who helped us with Valentine? Where?”

“On the bloody stage, Merlin. She was  _ singing _ .”

“ _ That _ was Y/N? Well that’s an interesting development.”

“Yeah.”

“But what are  _ you _ doing?”

“I’m gonna talk to her. Merlin, she could have information.” Not that information was Eggsy’s  _ main _ goal, but Merlin didn’t need to know that.

“I already told you, there were no signs of contact. Charlie hasn’t sought her out.” Merlin didn’t sound convinced.

“But she may have ideas about what he could be doing. She may know where he could be hiding. It’s worth a shot.”

“You sure you’re not just missing her, Eggsy?” Damn that observant Scotsman. Eggsy chose not to reply to that.

“I’ll report back in a bit,” he said, removing his glasses and pocketing them again just as Y/N’s set ended and she and her bandmates made their way to the stage exit.

\---

-Y/N POV-

“Eggsy?” You were a little shocked. You hadn’t seen Eggsy in what felt like years, and there he was. 

“Hey, luv, long time no see,” Eggsy smiled as you approached. One of the security guards gave you a look, but you waved him off. You looked to your mates, assuring them that you’d see them in a bit as you made your way to Eggsy.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

“What, I can’t just come to Glasto?” Eggsy gave you a crooked smile.

“Of course you can, I didn’t mean,” you shook your head, fighting a blush, “I just guess I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I didn’t expect to see you up  _ there _ ,” Eggsy said gesturing up to the stage, “you were fucking spectacular.” You were sure you blushed at that. 

You hadn’t seen this guy in years, but you’d missed him in a weird way. He’d sorta rescued you, or maybe you’d sorta rescued him, either way, you’d bonded. Why hadn’t you kept in contact?

“Yeah? Thanks! I’ve always wanted to sing. Never imagined I’d make it here. But it’s amazing. I- I’m so happy you liked it.”

“You been here before?”

“Yeah. I used to come with Charlie and his girlfriend, Clara. So glad I’m free of them now.” You smiled, but Eggsy’s smile slipped. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing.” You didn’t believe him, but that didn’t matter, because the next second you saw Clara stepping up to the barricade between the feild and the stage and waving in your direction, no, waving in Eggsy’s direction. Thank goodness she didn’t seem to recognize you. She was calling for someone named River, but she was clearly looking at Eggsy. So you looked at Eggsy, and he looked at the ground.

“I can explain.”

“Oh the number of times I’ve heard those words,” you mumbled, closing your eyes and reaching up to rub your temples. While your eyes were closed, you missed Eggsy waving Clara off, mouthing the word, “girlfriend”. 

Clara pouted, but took the hint and sashayed away, surely intending to make Eggsy jealous. As soon as Clara was out of sight, Eggsy gently took your wrists and pulled them away to get your attention. You looked up, scowling at Eggsy. You weren’t sure why you were so hurt, but you were. It wasn’t like Eggsy was yours or anything, he could do what,  _ or who _ , he liked, right? So why did it feel like he’d betrayed you?

“C’mere. I’ll tell you what’s going on, but it’s not somethin’ I wanna spread about, and-” he paused as he tugged you into an empty tent, “I don’t think you’re gonna want to hear this out in the open either.”

“The fuck could you have to tell me that I can’t hear out in the open, Eggsy?” You were frustrated and confused, both by  _ his _ actions and  _ your _ reactions to them.

“Y/N, I’m not at Glastonbury for the fun of it.” You scrunched up your face; it took you a second, but you realized his meaning. If he wasn’t here for fun, he was here for work. 

“Eggsy,” you said, suddenly more cautious, “what’s going on?”

“Fuck that’s a long story,” Eggsy said. His hands went to his hat covered head and he began to pace.

“Okay, why were you with Clara then? What good could that scrubber be?”

“It’s to do with Charlie, so maybe a lot.”

“What? Charlie’s  _ dead _ , Eggsy. What’s happened?”

“Kingsman’s gone, Y/N.” Eggsy’s voice was full of pain as he said that; he wouldn’t look at you.

“What do you mean ‘ _ gone’ _ ?” You stood rooted to the spot, feeling a cold chill run down your back.

“Blown up. Most everyone- they’re- they’re dead.” There was a pretty distinct sniffle at that.

“What?!” you moved to stand in front of Eggsy then. His hands had come down from the top of his head to cover his face, and you moved your hands to his biceps. “Eggsy… I don’t understand.”

“The shop got blown up. All the Kingsman agent’s homes.  _ My _ home.  _ Roxy- _ she-” Eggsy sobbed. His knees buckled and he hit the floor. You followed instantly, your arms going around him, moving his head to the crook of your neck; though the hat dug in a bit, you didn’t care. You held him as he cried, your hands rubbing up and down his back and arms as you soothed the best you could.

When Eggsy’s cries had quieted, you asked, “Who did this, Eggs?”

“Charlie.”

“What-”

“He didn’t die, Y/N. Somehow, he survived. I-Merlin said- when I shocked the fucker before I knocked him out, it disabled the implant. His voice is fucked, but he survived. He’s a part of some sort of group now, they targeted Kingsman, and all but wiped us out.” Eggsy sat back, his head moving from your shoulder, his hands cupping your elbows. “When I found out he was alive, I made Merlin check on you, he said you were safe, that Charlie hadn’t contacted you, but he  _ had  _ contacted Clara. So I came to Glasto after Clara, hoping she’d have some information. I didn’t know I’d find you.”

“I- But-” you couldn’t form coherent sentences. You closed your eyes and shook your head. You’d gone from comforting Eggsy, to a state of shock so quickly, you wondered if there was such a thing as mental whiplash. All you could hear was Charlie’s voice,  _ “you’re such an ungrateful little bitch.” _

 

-Eggsy’s POV-

Y/N started shaking. And though he was trying to talk to her, she wasn’t responding anymore. As slowly as possible, Eggsy pulled his glasses out, put them on, and quietly spoke to Merlin.

“Merlin, I told Y/N about Charlie. I think she’s in shock. What the hell do I do?”

“Lay her down if you can, and keep her warm. Keep talking to her and don’t mention Charlie again. What  _ the hell _ did you do?” Merlin gave him the information he needed, but made his displeasure known. Merlin had come to like Y/N as well, she had helped them out of a tight spot, and, unbeknownst to Eggsy, had funneled some of her family’s money into Kingsman’s R&D programme. So Merlin was none too pleased to hear that Eggsy may have hurt her. 

“I may have just spat everything out…” Eggsy said sheepishly as he gently, but firmly maneuvered Y/N so that she was laying on the floor of the tent with her head resting on his knees. He took his jacket off and laid it over her chest and torso. He pulled her hair loose and repeatedly ran his fingers through it.

“Alright, what should I talk about?” Eggsy asked aloud, he kept his voice soft, although he wasn’t sure you could hear him, “well, I’ll tell ya about my mum and Daisy, yeah? You’ve heard about my mum before, but you’ve never met her. I think you should; you two would get on well. I  _ know _ you’d like Daisy. She’s the sweetest little thing. God she’s not so little anymore though, I think she’s about ready to take the stabilizers off her bike already…” Eggsy continued to talk about anything, and everything, softly stroking Y/N’s hair. As he talked, he worked through some of his own shit. He still wasn’t okay, probably wouldn’t be for a while, but he felt a little more stable.

“Ya know, I don’t know why we stopped talking. I guess we got busy? I mean, I could have texted you. I  _ should _ have. I missed you. Weird, huh? We barely know each other. We just went through the weirdest, fucking shittiest experience together, I mean who meets someone like that?” Eggsy chuckled, “You never did explain how you knew how to shoot like that.” He brushed his thumb over her forehead and she stirred a little. “You there, Y/N?”

“Yeah,” you whispered, “I’m here. Just- not really sure what the fuck’s going on.”

“Do you remember what I told you?” Eggsy was worried, even more so now, that you may have suffered some sort of trauma;  _ what had he done? _ His hands were still, one on your head the other in your hair, but he felt a slight tremor in them.

“Gonna be hard to forget  _ that _ . My brother  _ isn’t _ dead, he’s killed your Kingsmen. I just-  _ what the fuck _ ?” You opened your eyes and looked up at Eggsy. “Also, not that I’m not quite comfortable, but why am I on the floor?”

“You sorta went into shock, luv. I think I fucked up.” Eggsy hung his head.

“I’m not sure if there was a way you could have told me that particular bit of news without getting this reaction.” You sat up slowly, with Eggsy keeping a hand at your back. “Just one more question.”

Eggsy moved so he was kneeling in front of you, “yeah?”

“Yeah,” your face was determined, “how do we catch the fucker? This time, I’m gonna kill him myself. ” Eggsy cracked a smile at that

“Good girl. Follow me.” Time for Y/N to meet the Statesmen. 


	4. Chapter 4

Meeting Harry was a trip. Eggsy had told you about him, about how it was Harry that trained him, how Harry was the reason he was a Kingsman. You knew Eggsy carried a lot of guilt about Harry dying, so you were glad he was back, though you could tell there was something not quite right with the man. It was like he didn’t have his equilibrium back. Like he’d been on a ship for years and was walking on dry land again suddenly. 

The boys; Eggsy, Harry and a man called Agent Whiskey, headed to a mountain in Italy. Apparently, your piece of shit brother was involved in a drug ring called the Golden Circle, and the psychotic bitch in charge of the ring had purposefully poisoned all of her product. She was holding millions of people’s lives in her hand until the world’s governments gave her what she wanted. She’d reached out to the American president to make the deal, and although the President made it appear that he was going along with her demands, it was your opinion that he was happy to let all the unfortunate souls die.

Apparently, the mountain top in Italy was where the antidote for the poison in the drugs was made. You wanted to go, but Eggsy had pointed out that Charlie was likely to be there, and although you thought you were fairly well prepared for that eventuality, Eggsy was insistent.

Merlin and and the Statesmen’s techie, Ginger Ale, allowed you to sit in the command center and listen on the comms. Ginger seemed very nice, and you liked her right away. She was the Statesmen’s version of Merlin, and you’d liked Merlin right away too. You were happy to see Merlin again. Or you were happy right up until the mission went to shit. 

You heard the ski lift get cut, you heard the gunfight, and you heard Agent Whiskey go down. Eggsy used something called “alpha gel” which you’d never heard of before, but Ginger assured you that Agent Whiskey would be okay. How someone came back from a headshot, you didn’t understand, but you let it go.

...

Eggsy and Harry arrived with Whiskey’s body a few hours later. Eggsy was clearly upset with Harry, but he wouldn’t explain why. You were stood out in the hall with Eggsy and Harry when Merlin joined you with news. 

“Good news. He'll be back on his feet in no time.” Eggsy seemed to relax a bit at that statement, but Harry didn’t. 

“I'm not certain that's a good idea.”  
“What do you mean?” Merlin asked the question that you were wondering as well. You looked to Eggsy; he looked like he’d just sucked a lemon. 

“I shot Agent Whiskey.”

“Deliberately,” Eggsy added in a accusatory tone. Your eyes widened. 

“What?  _ Why _ ?” you and Merlin spoke at the same time. 

“He was working against us. And until we find out why, I say we trust no one.” Harry sounded very sure of himself, he looked completely calm and collected if a little annoyed, but Eggsy wasn’t having it. 

“Merlin,” Eggsy said, “Harry's sick. This whole thing is my fault. I thought he was ready”

“Listen to me. This is not about my mental health,” Harry said, a little put off at being dismissed, “If there's a chance there's a double agent in our midst… or worse, if Statesman itself has a dark agenda… we have to safeguard this mission. We both know the President wants these victims dead.”

Eggsy stepped away from the other men, and after a glance at Merlin, you followed him. 

“Eggs,” you started. 

“I don’t know what the fuck to do,” Eggsy grumbled, scrubbing his hands in his hair. 

“I don’t think you have to do anything, Eggs. Is there  _ any  _ chance that Harry is right? Maybe he isn’t as messed up as you think.” You weren’t an expert, but though Harry seemed to be struggling with  _ some _ aspects of his life after the shooting, he hadn’t made any judgement errors that you’d seen yet. He and Eggsy told you that he saw butterflies, and got distracted, but he hadn’t mixed up his words, or done anything majorly out of character. You wondered if he weren’t quite a bit more sane than Eggsy thought. 

“I don’t know, luv, he isn’t himself. I don’t know if I can trust him.” Eggsy looked down, his head drooping.

“Of course you can, Eggsy. He’s still Harry. I think he just needs time to readjust, and probably relearn some things. But he is still the same man you knew.” You reached out and grabbed Eggsy’s shoulders as you said that. You bent your head to catch his eye. “You just gotta support him. Like he did for you.”

Eggsy reached up and held on to your wrists. He gripped them like they were a life line. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, surprising you by resting his forehead on yours, but you didn’t move back. 

The two of you stood like that for a few moments more. You could hear Merlin and Harry talking in the background, but you paid more attention to the fact that you could feel Eggsy’s breath fanning across your face. Your heart was racing a bit as well, and you were fairly certain that you were blushing. Fortunately Eggsy’s eyes were still closed. You’d thought him attractive when you first saw him, and you had thought about a fair bit during the time you’d been out of communication, but having him so close, and holding onto you like he needed you, like you were  _ vital _ … You felt  _ different _ . In that moment, you wondered. You wondered if you might  _ love  _ him. 

The moments passed slowly. Eventually, Eggsy took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He met your eyes and smiled a little before pulling away, still holding your wrists even as he stepped out of your grasp. Your blush must have faded because he didn’t comment, but your heart beat hadn’t slowed. Eggsy squeezed your wrists, and he must have felt your pulse racing. He looked down to them, then quickly back at you with a question in his eyes, but he didn’t voice it. You pulled back, and Eggsy let your wrists fall. 

“Thanks, luv.”

“Nothing to thank me for.”

“I disagree,” he said with a little laugh. 

“Well then, how about if I ask a favor? Then we’ll be even.”

“Okay,” Eggsy looked wary, and he should have been. A big, wicked looking smile spread across your lips. 

“You’re going after the drug ring. After  _ Charlie _ . Take me with you.”

Eggsy closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took several deep breaths. “You shouldn’t-”

“But I’m going to. Whether you like it or not, I  _ will _ follow. So you may as well take me with you. I can be an asset, Eggsy.” Eggsy looked like he wanted to argue, so you continued. “Give me a gun. A rifle. I’ll stick to long distance, I swear!”

Eggsy stared at you for a moment. 

“I’ll tell you my story, Eggs. I will, but you know I’m a good shot. I can do this.”

He muttered something that sounded like  _ “gonna be the fucking death of me, you are,” _ before turning to Harry and Merlin. “Merlin!” he shouted, “have you got eyes on that location yet?”

…

And that’s how you ended up on the plane with all that was left of the Kingsmen. Merlin took you into the back to try and find mission attire that would fit you. 

“Too bad we didn’t take your measurements when we first met you, could have had a proper suit for you,” he laughed. 

“Didn’t exactly have a place for me in Kingsman then, Merlin.”

“I was sure you’d be back.”

That shocked you. “Really?”

“You already knew our secrets. You knew how to handle weapons, and we’d already seen you in a crisis. You passed practically all of our initiation tests in that one night alone. And you and Eggsy got on. Yes, I had a very strong feeling you would be back,” Merlin said with a smile.

There wasn’t anything you could do about a Kingsman suit for you on the plane, there weren’t exactly any spares laying around. You did manage to find some urban camouflage fatigues that fit you relatively well, though it was a little tight around your hips and thighs. You were just stepping out towards the room Eggsy and Harry were in when you caught the ends of their conversation.

“..and now, if this mission fails… she's gonna  _ die _ . I know it's against Kingsman rules, having a relationship.” 

Who was Eggsy talking about? Was there someone he knew who was in danger, who’d been affected by the tainted drugs?  _ “Wait, ‘relationship’? Does Eggsy have a girlfriend?” _ That question hurt. 

Harry responded as your mind reeled. “When I was shot… can you guess what the last thing was that flashed through my mind? It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship… never been in love… and in that moment… all I felt was loneliness… and regret.”  
You stayed in the doorway, hidden from view. Yes, you were eavesdropping, but it felt like Harry and Eggsy needed this talk, and as much as you wanted to listen, you didn’t want to intrude. 

“I'm sorry,” Eggsy said. He sounded so small and quiet. You figured that Eggsy had looked up to Harry, had maybe seen him as completely put together. That last statement of his had humanized him; Harry had become more of a person to Eggsy then. 

“Don't be. Just know that having something to lose… is what makes life worth living.” 

Merlin appeared behind you, and the two of you stepped out into the room together. Merlin made no comment about your eavesdropping, and you were grateful for that. 

“Looking good, Merlin,” Eggsy said. 

“Feeling good, Eggsy.” Merlin grinned and then crossed the room to start going over the weapons you all had available. 

“You’re looking good to, luv,” Eggsy muttered to you.

You laughed lightly, “Think I’d look better in one of those suits though.”

“We’ll get you one when we’re done, yeah?” You gave him a huge smile.

“I’d like that.”

…

The boys had sent you off to the side. The plan was that they would cause a disturbance, clear a path for you through the guards, and then you’d sneak behind through. It went fine from your end. You used the mine detector, and managed to get through without a hiccup. You found a building that you could climb from the outside, and set up your rifle on the roof. 

That was when you heard the explosion. _ That _ hadn’t been part of the plan. 

Merlin had given you a set of glasses before you’d left the plane, but you hadn’t put them on yet. After the explosion, you did so with hands shaking. No one was talking, but with the glasses, you could zero in on targets better. So you did. 

You quickly picked off all the goons the boys left for you. Harry and Eggsy were completely unhurt as they entered the diner at the end of the “street”. You could hear them talking to Poppy. You heard her sick a dog on Harry, and you heard Charlie. 

Harry and the robotic dog that was following him ran from the diner to what looked like a bowling alley. When they were in the open, you fired at the robotic dog, but when they entered the building, you didn’t have a clean shot. Charlie and Eggsy were all over the place, you couldn’t get a clean view of them either. 

“Fuck it,” you grumbled. You could hear Harry and Eggsy struggling, and your sniper position was currently helping no one. Oddly, you would  _ swear _ that you heard Elton John for a moment as you climbed down, but you had no time I wonder at that. 

Just as your feet hit the ground, Eggsy and Charlie appeared in front of you. Eggsy had Charlie pinned, face down in the dirt, by the time you reached them. 

“Give me the code!”Eggsy growled as he pressed Charlie’s face into the dirt. 

“I can't. Only Poppy knows it.” Charlie could barely speak, you couldn’t find it in you to feel sorry for him. 

“Well, then you're no use to me, are you?” Eggsy looked up, and saw you standing there. “For the record, Charlie,” he said while still looking at you, “I'm more of a gentleman than you'll ever be. But right now, I think it’s time I turn you over to the lady, yeah?” You crouched down so your waste of a brother could see you. 

“Hello Charlie,” you said, “remember me?”

“What the ever loving  _ fuck _ are you doing here? You think this piece of shit is gonna help you? He’s just as fucking  _ useless _ as you are. You’re a  _ fucking disgrace _ . You hear me?!”

“Oh, I hear you, I just don’t  _ particularly _ care. As for me being a disgrace; well it’s not like there’s anyone left for me to be a disgrace to, now is there? You’re all that’s left.” You opened your arms and gestured around you. 

“How does that feel, by the way? To be all alone. To be pinned down, completely helpless, and to know that  _ no one _ cares what happens to you. Sucks, eh? I oughta know, I felt it often enough. But I’m the one with the power now. And you know what? You’re not even worth it.” You shook your head. You didn’t want to have tears in your eyes, Charlie  _ wasn’t _ worth it, but they were there all the same. You looked up at Eggsy, he was watching you, looking worried. You gave him a little smile, shook your head again and stood up. “He’s all yours, Eggs. I don’t even care enough to kill him.”

Eggsy snapped Charlie’s neck before the bellow of rage that you  _ knew  _ was building in Charlie’s chest could break free. 

You took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and sniffled. Charlie didn’t deserve your tears, but for some reason, they were there anyway. Eggsy stepped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you back into his chest for a brief hug. 

“You’re okay, luv. It’s done. We just gotta get the code for this fucking case, and then we’ll go home.” You nodded as Eggsy spoke quietly into your ear. Opening your eyes, you saw Harry step out of the parlor across the street from you. Eggsy let his arms fall from you as you stepped away, and all three of you turned and headed back to the diner where Poppy waited. The boys went in the front, you snuck around the back. 

“Hey, fellas,” you heard Poppy call out to the boys. You walked right in the back door. There was no one left to guard it after all.

“You're going to give us the code.” That was Harry’s voice. You rounded a corner and could see them all. The boys had reached the bar. Poppy was just on the other side, facing them.

Poppy gasped in mock fear, then continued. “Mmm. Or what? 'Cause you don't seem like the kind of gentleman who would hurt a lady.”  
“Perhaps not,” Harry replied, “call me old-fashioned… I don't consider _genocide_ especially ladylike.” You we’re right behind Poppy now. The crazy bitch was about to say something else, but you quickly stabbed her with the syringe Merlin had given you, and depressed the plunger. 

Once under the influence of whatever drug had been in that syringe, Poppy gave you the code. It was good that she did so quickly, because the dose in the plunger was too high, and she died almost instantly. Eggsy teased you, but you shrugged. You’d never done drugs, how the hell were you supposed to know what was too much?

All laughing aside, the boys began to type the code into the case, and you jumped over the bar to stand beside them. Your feet had just touched the ground when something tight wrapped itself around your neck. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary:** You’re Charlie’s little sister, but you’re the black sheep of the family. Now that you’re rotten family is out of the way (thanks in part to Valentine, but mostly to the Kingsman), you’re out on your own. Will you ever see Eggsy again?

**Warnings:** Swearing,  **Kingsman: Golden Circle spoilers** !, fluff, mentions of panic/anxiety attack like symptoms, sorta cliffhanger

**Word Count:** 2873

**A/N:** Alright, this is almost the end. There’s gonna be one last part after this!

 

A GIANT thank you to @writingwithadinosaur . She has been a constant help with everything lately. She is a wonderful person and writer, and I am so glad to call her my friend (and my Roxy!)

 

_ “Perhaps not,” Harry replied, “call me old-fashioned… I don't consider genocide especially ladylike.” You we’re right behind Poppy now. The crazy bitch was about to say something else, but you quickly stabbed her with the syringe Merlin had given you, and depressed the plunger.  _

_ Once under the influence of whatever drug had been in that syringe, Poppy gave you the code. It was good that she did so quickly, because the dose in the plunger was too high, and she died almost instantly. Eggsy teased you, but you shrugged. You’d never done drugs, how the hell were you supposed to know what was too much? _

_ All laughing aside, the boys began to type the code into the case, and you jumped over the bar to stand beside them. Your feet had just touched the ground when something tight wrapped itself around your neck.  _

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

“What the fuck?!” Eggsy yelled. You’d inadvertently whimpered at the sudden pressure around your throat and he’d turned to find Agent Whiskey standing in the door, holding his electric whip, the tail end of which was wrapped around your neck. 

“Don't move, kid. You try anything funny, and I'll turn this thing _electric_.”  
“Whiskey,” Eggsy spoke, “we are all on the same side here. You've had a head injury. The exact same thing happened to Harry. You're havin' some sort of brain glitch.”

Whiskey looked like he wanted to laugh. “Nope. My brain's all good, kid. And you know what? I reckon the same was true for your friend Harry over here. Real fine instincts, I'll give him that. So stay still, or I'll dice this pretty little thing up so small, you can take her home in a bucket, and still have room for what's left of your buddy Merlin.”

“What?” you croaked, your windpipe was on the verge of being crushed, but you’d just realized that you hadn’t seen or heard from Merlin. “Where’s Merlin?”

“Fucking idiot tripped a land mine,” Whiskey said. It looked like he took great pleasure in saying it too. 

Something in your head snapped; that was your limit. You’d killed before, but not this much. You’d seen death before, but none that had affected you like this. You’d killed dozens of people  _ today _ . You’d watched Charlie get killed. You’d killed a woman by drugging her. And now….  _ that explosion _ … that had been Merlin. 

It was like you felt everything and nothing all at once. You were aware of the men all arguing, you were aware of the noose around your neck, but all of  sudden, none of it was a factor anymore. You felt your heart rate decrease and your breathing even out. You went cold.

As smoothly as possible, you drew a small throwing knife from the holster on your thigh. Whiskey wasn’t even looking at you anymore. He was explaining his actions to Harry and Eggsy. His wife had been killed by drug addicts, so now he wanted all the world’s drug users dead. Normally, you would have empathized with him at least a little. But now? Now you didn’t even feel pity for him. You looked to the side and caught Eggsy looking at you. You slowly lifted your chin and looked over to Whiskey and then down to your right hand. Eggsy’s eyes widened, but he made no other outward indication that he had understood you. You weren’t sure he’d understood at all, but then text appeared on your glasses.

_ “I got ur back.” _

You threw the knife. 

You’d always had exceptional aim. The knife blade embedded itself in the knuckles of the hand that Whiskey was holding the whip with. He dropped the whip and you slipped the noose over your head. 

The fight with Whiskey wasn’t long, but it was hard, and dirty. You helped where you could, but Whiskey mostly wanted to use you to try and control Eggsy and Harry, so you stayed out of his reach. You picked up a discarded gun and shot from across the room. You hit him several times, but it took the meat grinder to finally put him down. The code was finally entered into the case, the antidote was sent, and millions of people were saved. 

You, Harry, and Eggsy were the only ones who walked out of the jungle and onto the plane home.

It wasn’t until you reached the plane again that you crashed. Whatever adrenaline high that you had been riding that had enabled you to fight off Whiskey, was well and truly gone. You managed to make it to the bathroom before it became obvious though. Once you’d thrown the lock on the door, your hands began to shake violently. Your legs all but gave out underneath you and you collapsed, your back pressed against the door, your knees to your chest. You could feel yourself breathing too fast, but you couldn’t seem to calm down. Your whole body was shaking, and your eyes were watering, tears making tracks through the dirt on your cheeks. 

It could have been moments, but it felt like hours had passed when you heard a knock at the door. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” It was Eggsy. 

You could have lied. Honestly, you sort of wanted to. You didn’t want Eggsy to see you like this; he’d only seen you as capable and strong. You really didn’t want him to see you broken down. But your vocal chords made the decision for you. 

“No,” you croaked. It felt like your throat was burning, as if you’d been screaming. 

“What’s the matter?” he asked, still on the other side of the door. 

“I just can’t- I feel like- I can’t breathe, Eggs,” you panted. Talking was nearly impossible with your breath wheezing in and out of your chest the way it was. 

The door handle jiggled as Eggsy tried to open it. 

“I need you to move away from the door, luv. I can’t get in to help you if I can’t get the door open.”

With a strangled whimper, you slowly managed to slide out of the way of the door. Eggsy quickly slid in and closed the door behind himself. 

The room was not very big, with the two of you in there it was nearly impossible to move. The close quarters meant that it took some maneuvering before Eggsy could sit. He had his back to the door now, and somehow he’d moved you you so that you were sitting between his legs, with your back pressed to his chest and his arm around your waist. You should have felt stifled. You should have panicked even more, but feeling his arms around you, his breath against your neck and the smooth rise and fall of his chest against your back had the opposite effect. 

“Whatever it is, we’ll handle it. You’re okay. Just breathe with me, yeah?” You’re doin’ fine.” Eggsy spoke quietly and rocked you slightly side-to-side. Your breathing slowly deepened, but the tears didn’t stop. After a few more minutes, Eggsy shifted you so that you were sitting sideways, both your legs draped over one of his. Softly, he wiped away the tears that remained on your cheeks. “What happened, luv?”

Taking a calming breath, you opened your eyes and stared at the wall in front of you, not meeting Eggsy’s eyes. 

“So much death. So many people, Eggsy.  _ I killed people _ . I didn’t even  _ think _ about it either. I just pulled the trigger. I fucking drugged that woman.  And Charlie-” you took a shuddering breath and closed your eyes again. Eggsy’s hands, which had been rubbing your back and squeezing your knee, moved to take your hands. You looked up, finally meeting his eyes.

“Do not mourn him, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve that.”

“I know, but I  _ saw _ him. I  _ spoke _ to him. I actually- I feel relieved. And I shouldn’t. He died. I all but killed him, and I don’t feel bad. I should feel something, shouldn’t I?”

Eggsy shook his head, but you continued talking. Now that you’d started, it was like you couldn’t stop. “And Merlin. What happened to him, Eggsy? All I heard was an explosion. I didn’t have the glasses on, I didn’t know what was going on, then Whiskey said he was dead.  _ Fuck _ , Whiskey. He went through a meat grinder, Eggs. A fucking  _ meat grinder _ . That’s so fucked up.” Your breath was starting to speed back up. Your voice had a hysterical tinge to it. Eggsy just pulled you into his chest again and tucked your head under his chin. He rocked you back and forth a bit more, humming occasionally and murmuring to you. 

“It’s all gonna be okay. It’s all over. You never need to do anything like that again.  _ Fuck _ , you shouldn’t have been involved in the first place.”

“But I  _ asked _ to be here this time, Eggsy.” Your voice was quiet, you sounded so small. Eggsy tightened his arms around you.

“None of this should have happened to you. None of it.” Eggsy dropped his head, his forehead resting on the top of your head. 

You took a shaky breath and reached up to wrap your hands around Eggsy’s forearm, tugging lightly to get his attention. You looked him in the eye with a small smile. 

“My family was fucked up, Eggsy. If it hadn’t been Valentine, it would have been something else. Charlie’s survival wasn’t expected, nor was anything Poppy did, but I don’t mourn Charlie. I don’t mourn my family. I know that they don’t deserve it. But Eggsy, people died. Hundreds of them. Thousands, or more. And Merlin… You knew him better than I did, but… he was my friend, Eggsy. I didn’t get to say goodbye.” Tears were still falling, but the sobs had ceased. “You weren’t able to say goodbye to  _ anyone _ . That’s not fair.”

Eggsy chuckled, but it was hollow sounding. “Life ain’t exactly fair, luv.”

The both of you sat quietly for a few more moments, before you spoke again.

“Why do you call me that?” you asked, looking at him.

“Call you what?”

“‘Love’. I mean, I know it’s not like I have a nickname or anything, but no one’s ever called me that before.” You looked away, your eyes shifting from his face to your hands which were now in your lap. Eggsy no longer had both his arms around you, but one hand was at your back. That hand was moving slowly, making soothing circles, but at your last comment it stilled. Eggsy blinked, a little stunned, but as he went to respond, a knock sounded at the door.

“Eggsy, Y/N. We’re on approach.” Harry didn’t comment on the fact that the two of you were in the tiny bathroom together, nor did his tone imply anything untoward; you felt a blush spreading across your face regardless. Embarrassment and shame rising, you stood carefully, making sure not to step on Eggsy. He remained on the floor a moment after you rose. You didn’t meet his gaze, but if you had, you would have seen the sweet, if a little bit cocky smile he was sporting. 

Eggsy may not have intentionally voiced his feelings about you, let alone realized them himself, but he could  _ now _ . You were strong, smart and resourceful. A crack shot and quick with a joke, not to mention, he thought you were possibly the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, even covered in dirty and wearing someone else’s fatigues. And you  _ cared _ . You were more upset that  _ he _ hadn’t been able to say goodbye to his Kingsmen, Roxy, and JB than you were about your own family. Granted, your family was utter shit, but you were more concerned about the thousands of other people you’d never met.

Eggsy rose to his feet a bit suddenly, startling you. You looked up and met his eyes as his hands came up to rest on either side of your face. 

“Eggsy?” you asked, your brow furrowed in confusion.

“I call you ‘love’ because that’s what you are.”

You opened your mouth to ask him what he meant, but when Eggsy pressed his lips to your forehead, you completely forgot how to speak.

He pulled back slightly, and seeing your shocked face pulled a breathy laugh out of him.

“I- Eggsy- what?” you stammered, bringing your hands up to grasp his wrists. 

Eggsy shifted his hands, twisting his wrists so that he could take your hands in his. He gave you a smile and tugged you toward the door. Opening it, he stepped out, but you hesitated. You were sure you looked like hell. Not only had you been fighting for your life, but then you’d been a crying mess for the  _ entire _ plane ride back, you were almost afraid to look in the mirror. 

“Just, uh- give me a sec, Eggsy. I’ll be right there.” 

Eggsy released your hands, but before you could step back to close the door between the two of you, he reached out one hand and cupped your cheek. Without realizing it, you leaned into his touch, drawing a deeply happy looking smile from Eggsy.

“Okay. See you in a bit.” He leaned forward and kissed your cheek before turning to walk back to Harry. 

You slowly closed the door, stepped to the sink and leaned your hands onto the surface before meeting your own gaze in the small mirror. As you’d expected, your cheeks were fairly pink and there were tear tracks through the dirt that was coating your face. But where you expected to see sadness in your eyes, you didn’t. A small smile had even spread across your lips. Your heart still ached for the lives that had been lost. Merlin’s death still weighed heavily on your mind, but you could breathe now. Nothing had lessened, but it felt easier to carry; you weren’t carrying the feelings alone.

Taking a few moments to rinse as much of the dirt off your face as you could before stepping out of the bathroom. Neither Eggsy nor Harry were in the club room, so you assumed they were both in the cockpit. On your way through the room, you noticed your clothes from before, folded neatly and set on the seat of one of the sofas. You walked over and picked them up. As you did so, a small piece of paper fell from the pile. Upon picking the paper up, you almost dropped it again.

In very neat, precise script were the words:

“Kingsman would be lucky to have you. I happen to know there are openings, and I would like to put your name forward as my proposal. I believe you have more than a fair chance of making it through. I look forward to working with you.

-Merlin”

A small, watery smile spread across your lips. Your eyes welled up, but no more tears fell, instead you closed your eyes, took a deep breath and went back to the bathroom to change into your own clothes.

The fatigues you’d worn were a little worse for wear and quite dirty so you folded them as best you could and left them in a pile just outside the bathroom door. Your hair was a right mess, but there wasn’t much you could do about it so, twisting it back into a tighter ponytail, you made your way to the front of the plane. Merlin’s note tucked in your pocket.

It wasn’t your intention to eavesdrop on Eggsy and Harry again, but they were talking when you came up to the door. 

“I’m happy for you Eggsy. Life is better when there are people with whom you can share it.” 

“Don’t go throwin’ me a party or anythin’, Harry. I ain’t even told her properly yet.” Your heart kicked in your chest. Earlier, when Eggsy had mentioned a relationship, you’d thought he’d been talking about someone else. But after the conversation earlier… _ “Could he have meant? Does Eggsy actually mean- me?” _ you thought.

You cleared your throat as you walked through the doorway to lean into the cockpit. Harry smiled, Eggsy blushed a bit but he smiled at you too.

“All right, luv?”

There it was again, “love”. 

_ “I call you ‘love’ because that’s what you are.” _

Eggsy’s words from earlier rattled in your mind. They had new significance now. The kisses… You nodded in response to his question, a small smile on your lips. “Yes, I’m alright, Eggsy. Thanks.” 

The plane cleared the cloud line as you were standing in the cockpit, and you could see buildings and cars as the plane continued to descend. Soon, the landing gear was lowered, and the plane was landing. You stepped back to allow the men to exit the cockpit. Eggsy stepped past you with a grin, but Harry paused in front of you.

“I assume you heard that conversation,” Harry said calmly. Meeting his eyes, you nodded. “It’s not my place to ask whether or not you return his feelings, nor is it really my place to give approval, but you do have it.” He patted you on the shoulder, smiled at you and stepped past you.

Your smile grew as you followed him off the plane.


	6. Chapter 6

Just after Ginger’s promotion, you and the men were on your way back to London. Statesmen had bought a distillery in Scotland, and had agreed to a partnership, thus providing the Kingsman the funds to rebuild. Harry was eager to begin, and Eggsy was as well. You and Eggsy didn’t get much of a chance to talk on the trip back given that he was trying to explain the way Kingsman worked to Agent Tequila who had been sent along with you. It was pretty funny to hear Eggsy try to explain the rules, that he had so often griped about, to the equally brash American. As much as Eggsy may not have liked some of the Kingsman policies before, he didn’t complain about them when explaining to Tequila. It was a laugh to watch Eggsy try to emulate the stodgy old Kingsmen that he had frequently complained about to you. But all the lighthearted spirit and laughter had stopped when your feet hit English soil.

Seeing the remains of the tailor shop was hard, but it was worse to see the remains of Eggsy’s house. What was once Harry’s house. Eggsy was visibly upset at the sight, and though Harry appeared as composed as always, you were fairly sure that you saw a glint of tears in his eyes too. Stepping up to stand next to, and between the two men, you placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder and squeezed gently before dropping your hand. 

Harry gave you a small, tight smile, but some of the stiffness seemed to release from his shoulders. 

You took Eggsy’s hand and squeezed that too, but you didn’t release it. He didn’t meet your eyes, so you squeezed his hand again. When you still didn’t receive a response, you dropped his hand, stepped in front of him, and wrapped your arms around his waist instead. It took a moment, but Eggsy did return the hug.

“It’s all over, Eggs. I’m sorry it happened, but it’s all over.”

“My mum could have been in there…” Eggsy muttered and he continued to stare at the rubble over your shoulder. “If Brandon hadn’t agreed to watch J.B., my mum was gonna do it. She was gonna bring Daisy and they were gonna spend the night.” 

You tightened your hold on him, resting your forehead against his neck. “But they weren’t. They are just fine, and no one’s gonna hurt them. You’ll protect them just like you always have. They’re safe.”

“Brandon and J.B. aren’t. Roxy isn’t. Merlin...” Eggsy was slightly shaking, you couldn’t tell if he was near tears, or if he was angry. 

You shifted, releasing Eggsy’s waist so you could wrap your arms around his neck instead. You ran your fingers through his hair, hoping to soothe him.

“They’re safe as houses now, Eggs. Nothing more can touch them now. They don’t blame you. Charlie and Poppy were responsible,  _ not you _ , and you saw that they were punished for their actions. It’s all over.” You rocked him slightly as you continued to stroke his hair. 

Eggsy dropped his head to rest on your shoulder and took a deep breath. Harry moved to stand slightly behind Eggsy and rested a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t say a word, just let Eggsy know that he was there; reminding him that he wasn’t alone. 

“Sorry ‘bout the house, Harry,” Eggsy muttered into your shoulder.

“Nonsense, Eggsy. I don’t blame you either.”

A few more moments passed before Eggsy pulled back out of your hug. You allowed him to create space, but caught his hand and kept him by your side shooting him a small smile when he caught your gaze. 

“Where do we start, Harry?” you asked, looking back at the rubble. 

You didn’t see the smile on Harry’s face as he looked at Eggsy. Nor did you see the grin that spread across Eggsy’s face as he looked from Harry back to you. 

 

Some time later…

Despite your upbringing, you hadn’t spent a great deal of time in a tailor shop. Sure, you’d had custom dresses, and loads of designer clothes, but those were often brought to your manor. And you’d certainly never had a suit. Suits of any kind weren’t considered necessary for a “lady”; they were far too masculine. Hell, the few pairs of jeans that you’d had were all purchased on the sly and hidden in the attic lest they be taken from you. You needed those pants after all. It was hard enough to sneak around your father and Charlie to get to the Armory, let alone in a bloody dress and heels. 

The last fitting for your suit wasn’t long, but it gave you a little alone time in your head. You couldn’t get your mind off of your last talk with Eggsy and Harry. 

You’d invited them both to stay with you, your home was big enough after all, but they’d both politely declined, though they did concede to frequent visits. It was over dinner the night past that Eggsy had broached the topic that you’d feared discussing the most.

Harry had asked what weapons you were comfortable handling, there were a fair few, and he was simply curious, but it had reminded Eggsy of a promise you’d made. 

“You still haven’t told me where you learned to shoot Y/N.”

You’d known the question was coming, you’d promised to answer him after all, and it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve an answer, but you still took a deep breath before starting.

“Well, I wasn’t exactly supposed to. It wasn’t a ladylike pursuit after all. Father taught Charlie to shoot though. Father and Charlie were together quite often, as a result, they were quite alike. If they’d had their way, I wouldn’t have learned to shoot at all if it hadn’t been for the fox hunt when I was 16.” 

“With how Charlie behaved, I can’t imagine your father was a good man,” Harry said softly. You could tell he was trying to get you to keep talking, and you obliged.

You took a larger than usual sip of your drink before continuing. “Father wasn’t a kind man. Not to mother, not to Charlie, and certainly not to me. Any slight, real or imagined, was punished severly and swiftly.”

“What do you mean,” Eggsy asked quietly. Eggsy had told you about his step father and his forms of parenting. You knew that he would understand.

“Beatings weren’t uncommon occurrences, but more often than not, my punishments involved isolation and deprivation. Days spent in the attic closet in the dark.” You’d had more than your share of nightmares, and you’d had claustrophobia for as long as you could remember. “When Charlie was 10, father started to let him punish me sometimes… I actually would have prefered he didn’t.

“When we fought Valentine, when his assistant shot me… That wasn’t the first time I’d been shot. Charlie had shot me a few times before. I have scars all over my legs, mostly on the upper thighs; I had to be able to hide them after all, or Charlie would’ve been punished too.” A humorless laugh left your lips, but you continued.

“I hadn’t a way to fight back until the hunt. Mother and father decided that I needed to participate in a hunt for a few years running, so I had to learn equestrian etiquette and how to handle a rifle. I paid attention and I learned where the armory was. I only got caught the first few times, and I visited the armory every chance I could. I practiced with every weapon there, and when I finally got old enough to leave for university, I took whatever self defence classes I could. Eventually, I moved up to more advanced fighting techniques, but I still visit the shooting range as often as I can.”

A heavy silence followed your last sentence. Followed by a creaking noise coming from the arm of Eggsy’s chair which was struggling under his tightening grip. 

“Wish I could bring that fucking dickhead back so I could kill him again.”

“Don’t say that, Eggs. He’s already come back once,” you joked, but there wasn’t much humor in your voice.

Then a crunching, crackling noise from the other side of the table had your head turning. Harry had clenched  _ his _ hand around his crystal tumbler instead of his chair. The glass, providing much less resistance than the wooden chair, shattered in his hand.

You ducked into the kitchen to grab a towel, thus missing a short interaction between the men. They both looked at each other with matching angry faces. 

“I know there isn’t fuck all I can do about it now, but  _ fuck! _ ”

“I agree with you, Eggsy, there is nothing that can be done about the past. All we can do is try our best to replace those bad memories with better ones. As well founded as your anger is, it does Y/N no good for you to allow it to envelop you now.”

“I know, I know,” Eggsy growled as he scrubbed his hands over his face. And he  _ did _ know, but that didn’t mean he knew how to handle the situation.

All  _ you _ knew was that Harry and Eggsy had been quiet when you returned, but were quick to ask your opinion on the weapons testing they were planning for the next weekend. 

Eggsy had been even more affectionate for the rest of the night as well. Since you’d been back, he’d been making an effort to talk to you each day; he was the first and last person you spoke to. If he wasn’t around to talk to you face to face, he would text or call, he never missed telling you goodnight. When he was around, he was almost always next to you. After that conversation, he’d been making an effort to be touching you at all times. If you were sitting together, he’d have an arm over the back of your seat and be playing with your hair. If you were walking together, his arm was around your shoulder or your waist. His hand would be holding yours or at the small of your back. It was nice. Comforting and sweet. He made you smile. A smile would be on your face just thinking about him. 

“Alright, Miss, that’s the last stitch.” The tailor’s voice drew you out of your musings. 

“Thank you,” you said checking your reflection in the mirror, “It looks wonderful.”

“Happy to be of service, Miss.” With a smile, he opened the door and you stepped out of the fitting room.

Eggsy was waiting for you and Harry was walking through the door as you stepped out. They were sporting nearly identical smiles. 

“Lovely. We’ll make a Kingsman of you yet, Y/N.” Harry smiled wider as you tossed him a mocking salute.

“Whatever you say ‘Arthur’,” you said in a teasing tone. Harry grimaced lightly at the title he still wasn’t used to. Eggsy chuckled.

“I believe that ‘Harry’ will do for now, ‘Tristan’,” Harry replied in an equally joking voice. “Eggsy, see that our newest recruit is properly equipped and meet me in the dining room.” With a last smile, Harry walked past you and up the stairs.

After watching him retreat, you turned your gaze to Eggsy. He was in his Kingsman suit as well. As you turned, he removed his glasses and tucked them into his jacket pocket before stepping closer to you. He stopped just out of arm's reach and looked you up and down once. 

“Looking good, Y/N,” he said with a soft smile.

“Feeling good, Eggsy,” you replied.

“Yeah? How good?” he asked, his hand coming up to your shoulder. He ran his hand down your arm to your elbow which he held.

“Mmm,” you hummed, pretending to think it over a minute before you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his, just for a brief second. “That good,” you said quietly, your lips barely an inch from his. 

“Well that’s pretty damn good,” Eggsy said on a smile. He tugged your body closer to his and kissed you back. His kiss was longer, the two of you not breaking apart until a throat clearing off to the side drew your attention. 

“I believe Mr. Hart said that you were to equip, and then meet him in the dining room,” the tailor reminded you in a scolding tone. You laughed lightly and stepped back from Eggsy a blush spreading over your cheeks.

“Alright, alright. Follow me, luv,” Eggsy chuckled, a light blush on his cheeks as well, “fitting room number 3 is right over here.”

“You keep your weapons in a fitting room?” you asked, confused.

Eggsy just laughed and tugged you into the room, shutting the door behind you. “Just you wait and see, luv. You’ve got a lot to learn yet.”


End file.
